Most mornings I write his name in the steam on my glass shower door. As I write, a droplet of water often runs from one of the letters down the door, like a tear.

This is the recipe I followed after my son died by suicide. But, if you are like me, I use a recipe only as a guideline. I add and delete ingredients and the same goes with this list: “take what you like and leave the rest”. I think this list served me well but I had never survived a loss like this before so it was all improvised and evolved somewhat unconsciously.