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Healing your body after the death of a beloved

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Living with an unbearable loss

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Moving forward into the life you create in the wake of loss

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I Can’t Save My Mother

Diane Woodruff had her whole world turned upside down when her mother developed Alzheimers. She cared for her mother for five years before she died. Diane joined a poetry/writing group with Frances Kakugawa and learned that writing about some of her strong feelings and experiences helped her cope with the devastating effects of Alzheimers.

Even though I’m trying as hard as I can
I must accept the fact that I can’t save my mother
She has Alzheimer’s and is slowly slipping away
I try to do everything I can to save her …
…Exercises to strengthen her body
…Having her read books to me
…Taking her to the doctor and following his advice
But I must accept that none of this can save her
I must accept the fact that she will die and that
I can’t save my mother

I cannot make her better
I can only hope to comfort her as much as possible on her journey
It is difficult for me to accept her downward slide to death
I have been able to figure out how to get the things I wanted to happen in life
Hard work and intention have always worked well for me
But I can see that won’t work this time with mom
I can’t save my mother

What is this lesson really about for me?
I know it means that I haven’t accepted death … hers or my own
I have run away from looking at death my whole life
I’ve always had a busy job to distract me from really thinking deeply about it
Now, I have no choice
I must accept the fact that
My mother will die and that
I can’t save my mother

This isn’t fair or right
Mothers shouldn’t die
They offer unconditional love and support and should always be there for you
Mothers should live forever
And I know that even after she dies, she will still be with me in spirit
Still, it makes me so sad to realize and really accept that
I can’t save my mother.

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