If you could, I know that you’d stay. We both know things don’t work that way. Lady Gaga

Lady Gaga wrote Joanne, the title song of her new album, in honor of her Aunt Joanne who died of lupus at the age of 19 in 1974.

During her concert at AT&T Park, Lady Gaga shared that she never knew her Aunt Joanne but that Joanne’s death created a profound sadness in her grandparents and father, a sadness that was passed down to her. It took years for her to understand this sadness, and her family has never stopped grieving her aunt’s death.

Every part of my aching heart needs you more than the angels do …

Before she sang Joanne, Lady Gaga asked the crowd to think about their Joanne .. that person in your life that was taken too soon, that you miss so much, that you wish you didn’t have to live without.”I think every day about that person I’ve become, all my pain and my strife, and I think about yours, and it has one name and that’s Joanne.”

In addition to the pain of not being able to do what the medical community couldn’t, and that’s save my son’s life, my other biggest agony over Jimmy’s death was feeling as though I had deprived Molly of her beloved brother. That she wouldn’t have Jimmy with her when she got into Stanford, when she played softball there, when she ventured out into the world. He was her biggest cheerleader. He always had her back. They shared a common language, a private humor and the bond that comes from being united against your parents and their “good advice”.

I would have given anything for Molly to learn about death when our 12 year old Labrador died in his sleep. Or when each of my elderly parents died. But I didn’t get to make that decision. So all I can do is be there for her in whatever way I can by cheering extra loudly for her triumphs. Encouraging her to continue taking chances as she becomes the person that Jimmy loved and believed in with his whole heart. And standing with my arm around her at a Lady Gaga concert as we cry and yearn for our Joanne who couldn’t stay.