Carol Mathew-Rogers is an artist, writer and life-long animal lover. She is the Executive Director of the educational nonprofit The Creative Edge: The Way of the Arts where she facilitates personal growth and exploration through creativity in individuals and groups. She creates an atmosphere where curiosity and mindfulness are encouraged and actively promotes artistic play.

They ask me how I’m doing
these days and weeks after
he left for the last time
shed his last tear
gave his last hug
took his last breath

I’m doing just fine, I say
I keep myself busy
planning his memorial
the photos
the flowers
the food

I am not alone, I say
as if that really matters
meals with my husband
visits with the kids
time with good friends

But sometimes
when I least expect it
the waves of grief
knock me senseless
and I flounder
in oceans of tears
in heart wrenching sobs
and breath I can never catch

Until I am finally empty
washed up on that rocky
shore of sadness
wrung out
emptied out
wanting out

But when they ask me
how I’m doing
I just sort of smile
and say I’m doing
just fine.