The Tommy Tat

Tommy's right leg with a small black dot just below and to the left of his ankle bone. He's wearing rolled up jeans and topsiders without socks

Months before Tommy died, I noticed a spot on his ankle. I asked him if he was getting warts again! Tommy laughed and said that a guy he knew wanted to practice tattooing, and Tommy decided to get a small circle on his ankle.

After Tommy’s unexpected death, several of his friends were visiting, and we talked about his tattoo. We were all desperate to find a way to connect with Tommy. Katie, Tommy’s sister, suggested we all get the same tattoo and drew one on a friend’s ankle. We all joked about it, but the thought of getting the tattoo appealed to many of us.

Katie's friend's lower leg with small black circle drawn below and to the rear of the ankle bone. The friend is wearing a blue no-show sock.

Mark was the first ..

Mark's foot with a black circle just below the ankle bone. He's pulling back a bandage from the tattoo and wearing a no-show blue sock. A pair of black Keds can be seen in the background.

Then Justin and Chase.

Tattoo artist covered with tattoos with a mustache and long beard and a blank tank top. He's sitting in front of a table with a bare foot on it. There's a black circle just below the ankle bone.

Steve, Katie and I were next.

Steve, Cindy and Katie's bare legs, all with a black circle just below the ankle bone

My sister and niece came out in October and joined the Tommy tat club.

"Tommy" and a circle below it written in the sand with three bare feet below the writing, all with black circles on below the ankle bone.

Amy, Cindy & Patty at one of Tommy’s favorite beaches in Half Moon Bay.

Now there are several Tommy tats out there, providing us each with a little comfort and connection and possibly some amusement to Tommy …

Multiple lower legs with small circle tattoos below the ankle bone

A bare ankle with a small circle tattoo below the ankle bone in the top of the picture. In the bottom half of the picture are an open book and a notebook with handwritten notes on the page

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Tags: Child loss, son loss

Published on: January 25, 2019

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Salt Water is for those who have lost someone they can’t live without – a child, a sibling, a spouse, a parent, a close friend – and the people who love them. We provide a safe harbor where you can find comfort, support and tools to survive your loss and rebuild your life.

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