Carol Mathew-Rogers is an artist, writer and poet. She is the Executive Director of the educational nonprofit The Creative Edge: The Way of the Arts where she facilitates personal growth and exploration through creativity in individuals and groups. She creates an atmosphere where curiosity and mindfulness are encouraged and actively promotes artistic play.
In Honor of her mother Lou Mathews (May 17, 1931 – March 17, 2022)
She would stand at the rail
each time we left
thin arms raised
to blow kisses
that followed us home
and we thought
we had more time.
We would see how
her body changed
once elegant hands
gnarled into claws
once strong legs
now unsteady sticks
raven black hair
frosted with snow
pink scalp exposed
we saw the changes
but they didn’t
change our hearts
we thought
we had more time.
A sudden fall
a broken hip
she was mad, he said
about the pain of it all
then wanted to rest
so he left her to sleep
not knowing
a stroke lay in wait
he thought
he had more time.
Called with the news
we jump in the car
arrive at her side
only to find
a room with no hope
only a machine
pushing life in and out
we thought
we had more time.
Only time now
for whispered words of love
last kisses
holding hands
that didn’t squeeze back
then the wait
as she lay so still
leaving us with a sigh
we thought
we had more time.
…we thought we had more time.
I can feel the gnarled hands once elegant not squeezing back.
I’m so sorry, Carol, for the loss of your beloved Mom.
I send you so much love and healing as you traverse the Everest terrain of grief. I pray you are finding more and more breaths of peace.
Much love,
Aimee