Spouse & Significant Other

Her absence is like the sky, spread over everything
C.S. Lewis

Jen Hurley Klee on life after the death of her husband, Matt:
“How are you doing?” is such a difficult question for me to answer … “a beautiful mess” seems like the most appropriate response. Yes, I am living my life – but everywhere I go, there is a huge piece of me that is missing. It feels as though I am two miles into an uphill marathon that will never end – and just because I keep moving forward, it does not mean that any of this has gotten any easier. I’m just moving forward because it’s the only way I know how to go.

an image of Jen with her husband on their wedding day right after the exchanging of vows and pronouncement of husband of wife

Elizabeth Alexander on life after the death of her husband, Ficre:
We’re alive. Life goes on. My children are healthy and happy and fulfilled. As am I. We all have our work to do. They have their schoolwork to do. They have college ahead of them. This is what their father would have wanted. This is how we built them to live rich and useful and beautiful lives. So my job was to carry that forward. Not in a way that says we are not grieving or shut that feeling down. But that says we are alive and we walk forward.

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Some of our favorite resources on losing a spouse or significant other:

The Light of the World – Elizabeth Alexander’s poetic memoir about the death of her husband, Ficre and the aftermath
Both Sides Now: A True Story of Love, Loss and Bold Living – Nancy Sharp’s beautiful memoir of her husband’s illness and death and how she forged a new life for herself and her children in the wake of her husband’s death
About Alice – Calvin Trillin’s moving tribute to his wife Alice
What Forty Steps Taught Me About Love and Grief – Actress Tembi Locke’s TED talk about caring for her now deceased husband and how grief transforms
Living With Grief: A Conversation Between Men – Liam Neeson and Anderson Cooper talk about the death of Neeson’s wife, Natasha Richardson. “She always packed so much into every day … maybe she knew she wasn’t destined to be on this earth for a long time.”
Uncoupled: Dealing with the Death of a Spouse – A powerful video in which four bereaved spouses speak about their loss, the early days after their spouses’ deaths, what helped, what didn’t, how they adjusted to being single and how they “turned a page”.
We don’t “move on” from grief. We move forward with it. — Nora McInerny’s TED talk about living on after the death of her husband and her father and a pregnancy loss.
“Devastated Disney Animator Illustrates Life With Children After Wife Dies” – Gary Andrews’ wife, Joy, died at the age of 41 from sepsis, leaving him to parent their two daughters alone. Beginning the day after Joy died, Gary has created a doodle a day capturing the sadness and joy in his daily life without his soulmate. Follow Gary on Twitter to see his daily doodles.
“Dear Therapist: Will I Ever Get Over My Wife’s Death?” — “We were married for 47 years, and I can’t picture life without her.”
“Unpacking That Last Box” – A beautiful, heartbreaking account of how Li Yin learns that she doesn’t need to cling to her boyfriend George’s belongings in order to stay close to him.
“The condolences end. Being a widow doesn’t.” — “The second year without my husband is in some ways harder than the first.”
“Your Threads Have Come Undone: A Letter to a Grieving Husband” – Author Kao Kaila Yang offers solace to a grieving stranger who has lost his wife.
Monday Hearts For Madalene – Page Hodel fell in love instantly with Madalene Rodriguez. Soon after, she began making hearts out of items she found in nature and in shops in her neighborhood. Every Sunday night, Page would leave a new heart for Madelene to find on Monday morning. Sadly, after being together for less than a year, Madalene died of ovarian cancer. Visit Page’s website to see all 481 of her beautiful creations.