Caretaking Through Grief: A Practical Guide for Providers & Families
“Caretaking Through Grief: A Practical Guide for Providers & Families” examines how and where grief and loss enter the foster care system and the myriad of ways they affect both providers and families. We explore different types of grief, the way grief affects every aspect of our lives and share strategies for taking care of yourself in the aftermath. The course is free once you sign up for a free account at the Catalyst Center. CEU certificate available upon completion
Katy Calls BS Podcast
“We all carry grief with us. It doesn’t have to be death. It can be divorce. It can be illness. It can be a spouse losing a job, a child struggling with their mental health or drug addiction. We’re expected to walk through the front door of our workplaces and leave all this stuff outside as if everything was fine, and we can focus on our job. But the truth is that it has never worked that way.”
Grey Minds Think Ali.Ke Podcast
Host Ali Kessler speaks with Margo Fowkes about her journey through grief after losing her son to brain cancer. They discuss the complexities of grief, the importance of community support, and how to navigate work while grieving. The conversation highlights the nuances of grief, the judgments faced by those grieving, and the significance of honoring memories and milestones, particularly during the holiday season.
Inside Sacramento
“Leaders often believe that they should know what to do and how to make it better for a bereaved employee who’s coming back to work. Instead, they need to allow themselves to be guided by what their employee says they need, because everyone’s grief is different.”
Open to Hope Podcast
Grief needs to be acknowledged and witnessed, especially in the workplace. We discuss ways to do that in the early days of loss – sending cards, making meals, showing up at the funeral or celebration of life, contributing to a scholarship fund for the surviving children, etc., as well as what that support looks like long term to be sure that the person who’s grieving has some agency over the support they want and how it manifests.
Beyond Bereavement Leave – Navigating the Workplace After Loss
How we are treated by our manager and colleagues can make all the difference in our ability to return to and remain at work. This fireside chat will help you understand how to get the support you need from your coworkers and your boss after a devastating loss, as well as how to show up for a colleague who’s grieving.
Grief & Light Podcast
Margo shares her journey of grief after the death of her son, Jimmy. She discusses Jimmy’s resilience during his illness, as well as the beautiful moments with Jimmy that shaped her perspective on motherhood and loss. Margo explains how Salt Water, a virtual community that provides resources and welcomes guest writers to share their experiences, was founded to honor all types of loss. Margo also delves into the challenges of grief in the workplace.
No Labels No Limits
Margo and host Sarah Boxx discuss what it was like growing up with a father who was 60 years old when Margo was born; where young people can find mentors and gain leadership skills in this remote work world; how the best companies navigate layoffs and what a compassionate workplace really looks like.
Marc Jr. Foundation
“There’s incredible comfort in finding someone else who’s in the early stages of grief right after your child dies, but you also need those moms and dads that are a year out, five years out, ten years out, 20 years out because there were days when I thought, I cannot do this. Then I would talk to someone or read about someone who was farther down the path saying there is still light, there is still joy. It would give me hope that I could find my way.”
MBA Podcast
“Offer to help and be specific. If you say to a colleague, I’m here for you, just call me if you need me, they’re not going to call you. So, give them some choices about the kind of things you could help with, and let them pick. Even if they say no, it will not be lost on them that you were willing to help. They are more likely to come back to you and ask for help because you’ve opened the door for that conversation.”
Workplace Wellbeing Global Summit
“As a leader, you have to make space for people to talk about a coworker who’s died because people will take the space if you don’t provide it by talking at odd moments or out in the parking lot. But there’s such a difference in the leader saying, ‘Let’s come together and honor our fallen colleague. Your grief is welcome here. We will face it, we will talk about it.”
UpLevel Podcast
“Because I talk about Jimmy and I’m open about that loss, my clients and the folks that I was meeting through the work I do around writing and talking about grief and loss started sharing their stories with me. What I quickly realized, as both of you know, is that we are ill-equipped to navigate grief at work.”
Bloomwell Partners
“When we show up at work, and we are devastated by loss of any kind, we wear it in our bodies. Even if I don’t know that your mother has died, I know something has happened because I can feel it. It’s like the molecules around you have shifted. As someone who works with you, I want to be supportive, but there’s no path to saying anything if no one has told me that it’s okay to ask or bring it up.”
One Last Network Podcast
“There’s no ignoring grief. It will happen to all of us, including the person who’s saying ‘I don’t really want to deal with this.’ The strength of the team and the organization, the very fabric of the culture is based on compassion in the best organizations. That means leaning into whatever is happening for your employees. It doesn’t have to be death. It can be divorce or not getting a promotion. It can be a layoff where 20% of your colleagues are now gone. There’s so much grief and loss in the workplace and not acknowledging it is a terrible strategy.”
Grieving Moms Podcast
“People look away and hope they don’t have to deal with the situation, but you really can’t avoid it. What leaders find if they lean in and ask a few questions is that what their employees need isn’t as much as they’re expecting. It’s a bit of a space, a bit of extra support, some extra time to get their work done. It’s about acknowledging the loss and making space for that grieving employee to navigate work a little differently.”
Does The Workplace Understand Grief?
Most of us will suffer a loss more than once during our careers, yet few of us know how to navigate our grief at work, and most of our colleagues and workplaces are ill-prepared to support a bereaved employee. Margo joins Tim Moye, Delta Air Lines and psychotherapist Meghan Riordan Jarvis for a conversation facilitated by Zoe Sinclair, founder of This Can Happen, on how to make our workplaces more grief-friendly.
BizWomen — In Her Own Words: Margo Fowkes on grieving while working
“… no two people will react to a life-altering loss the same way, making it challenging to create hard and fast policies. One colleague may need extended time off while another will return to the office quickly, seeking a distraction or reprieve from their sadness. Because very few managers get any training on how to support a grieving team member, they default to guessing as to what might be most helpful, often hoping that if they give the employee time and space, the person will recover on their own.”
The Compassionate Friends magazine, “We Need Not Walk Alone”
Grief is an inescapable part of life, yet the vast majority of workplaces are ill-prepared to navigate the minefield of loss. In her article, “Grieving on the Job,” Margo offers some ideas on how a grieving parent can ease the transition back to work and garner the support they need from their boss and their team.
The Morning Glory Podcast
“I don’t think that we as a culture do a good job simply acknowledging grief exists. We pretend that if an employee has lost someone, they can park that sense of sadness and grief at the door when they come to work.”
The Soul of the Narrator
Margo’s poem, “Ghost Child” is included in the 13th annual Soul of the Narrator, an anthology of poetry and prose curated by poet and writer Jan Haag.
Grief Out Loud
The list of things to do when someone dies is long and burdensome. If one of the things on that list is “return to work,” then this episode is for you. If you are a manager or co-worker wondering how to support a grieving employee, this episode is also for you.
Sacramento Magazine
Margo Fowkes, a local writer, has a new book out with advice from leaders about how to help employees who have lost a loved one.
Where I’m From
Margo Fowkes joins Alyson Shelton for a conversation about the poem she wrote for Alyson’s “Where I’m From” project.
Grief, Gratitude & the Gray In Between podcast
For many of us, the thought of talking to someone who’s been shattered by a loss is scary. And to have to go into that conversation with no guidance is terrifying .. The grieving employee’s colleagues will oftentimes make the judgment that it’s better not to say anything because they might upset her, leaving the employee sitting there at work knowing everyone knows, but no one is saying a word.
Leading Through Loss
Margo joins host Mark Haney to discuss grief and loss in the workplace and share ideas on how leaders can build a compassionate, supportive organization that offers far more than the standard bereavement leave.
Grief in the Workplace with Margo Fowkes
Margo returns to the Wellness Within podcast to discuss grief in the workplace with host Patti Brown.
Author Margo Fowkes Knows That Grief Takes No Holidays
Margo Fowkes knows that neither death nor grief takes a holiday. So she decided to write a relatively brief, totally accessible book to help business owners and managers welcome back into the fold employees who’ve suffered the loss of loved ones.
Dealing with Grief Over the Holidays & at Work
Margo joins Kitty O’Neal to discuss how to support grieving employees during the holidays.
Good Grief with Cheryl Jones
Margo Fowkes’ son lived with cancer for almost a decade before he finally died. In her grief, she noticed that work places were not equipped to support or even acknowledge the griever. Inspired by her son’s power to live his life fully even under the threat of his death, she set out to bring change to the businesses and organizations she worked with when it came to how they handled grief.
Soul of the Narrator
Margo’s poem, “Hardwired For Joy” is included in the 12th annual Soul of the Narrator, an anthology of poetry and prose curated by poet and writer Jan Haag.
Solace Cremation – Hospice Helped Us Live the Only Day That Mattered
“I quickly learned that no one, not even the doctors, knew how many months, weeks, days Jimmy had left. It did us no good to try to count the unknowable. We had him here now. That was all that mattered.”
Powerful@Work
“The big shift came after my daughter was born. A friend said, ‘I think you should consult on how to make the workplace a more positive environment because that’s what you’re passionate about.’ That was the piece I was missing in the work I was doing prior … the opportunity to work with a team and see change as a result of that work … the ability to make a difference.”
Death By Design
“There’s a lot of ranking in grief. A feeling that there’s not space to honor everyone’s pain. First, we must rank. We must put your loss into the hierarchy. And if you’re grieving the death of a dog, you don’t get as much space as those of us who’ve lost children.”
Grief Dialogues – Getting Off The Train
“We are all a sunlit moment away from a long darkness, as poet David Whyte says … Somehow it was less painful to try to catch glimpses of my shadow son than to stare at photos of the flesh and blood child I raised, for to do so meant accepting that all he did was all he would ever do.”
Solace Cares — The Empty Seat on the Bus
“I watch the newly minted kindergarteners race around the colorful playground and think of the children who should be there and aren’t, picturing my own ghost child with his dark brown wavy hair, shiny green eyes, ready smile and merry laugh. I remember the sweetness and promise of those joy-filled days, grateful for all we had as I long for just one more.”
Grief Dialogues – Wild Patience
“Our friends and family need steadfastness to see us through this gorge of grief. We disappear for days, failing to respond to calls, texts, emails. We decline invitation after invitation, only to say ‘yes’ then leave early, show up late or not at all. We cry constantly or sit dry-eyed in a strange state of frozen relief. We offer no road map on how to reach us, no guidebook on what to say …”
Heart In Diamond – Just Listen
“Whenever I trip up, say something stupid, offer the wrong help or am no help at all, I remember how much value there is in listening. That it’s in that quiet space where we learn what we need from each other …”
Twenty Twenty: 43 stories from a year like no other
Twenty Twenty contains essays and short stories about pertinent 2020 topics such as: COVID-19 and shelter-in-place life, George Floyd’s murder and racial justice, wildfires, graduations, sourdough, pandemic pets, Zoom dating, masks, hand sanitizer and toilet paper. Margo has two pieces in the anthology – Brave & A Life To Call My Own.
Wellness Within – Grief & Vulnerability
“We navigate the world without spending a lot of time thinking about how easy it is to leave it or have it fundamentally shift on us … When we get that diagnosis or we lose somebody dear to us, what gets exposed is just how little control we really have.”
Margo joins Wellness Within founder Patti Brown for a conversation about vulnerability and grief.
Solace Cares – Never Enough Time
“Jimmy and Dad are made of memories now, living in the stories I tell, the history we shared. My remembering is fierce and intentional, as I conjure them back to life with my words. This is what remains, what comforts, what heals now that they are gone …”
And Then Everything Changed
Margo joins podcast host Ronit Plank to talk about losing her son Jimmy and how she found a way to go on after his death.
Solace Cares – A Mother’s Gift of Truth to Her Dying Son
“I will never regret being present for every minute of those final months and weeks. To see my son’s courage, his willingness to enjoy whatever and whoever the day brought to the house, his determination to keep laughing and spend time with the people he loved best. It was an honor to be part of it, and I’m grateful I didn’t hold back or look away …”
Friends For Survival – Helping Yourself After Suicide Loss
Margo talks to Marilyn Koenig & Susan Reynolds from Friends For Survival about how to navigate life in the aftermath of a death by suicide.
Grieving Voices
“I spent nights thinking about what was lost – his balance, his hearing, his cognitive abilities. Jimmy had this beautiful ability to focus on what was left.” Margo shares the lessons she learned from her son Jimmy as he battled brain cancer for eight years and the way her grief has influenced her work.
Wellness Within – Hope
“Even in the final days, there’s still hope. For more time. For more conversation .. there’s always room for hope.” Margo and Wellness Within Founder Patti Brown discuss people’s reluctance to share their losses and how we can support a friend or family member who’s grieving.
Why Are We So Uncomfortable Being Uncomfortable?
Mark Dimor, author of Donna: A Photo Memoir of Love and Loss and Margo discuss why we work so hard to avoid grief, both our own and other people’s, and the way sharing our stories helps us heal.
Success Engineering
Success Engineering CEO Michael Bauman and Margo discuss loss in the workplace and how managers and coworkers can more effectively support a grieving colleague
Beyond Well
Margo turned her enormous grief over the death of her son into a global force for healing. An extraordinary interview with a mother, entrepreneur and activist about the communal nature of grieving.
Always Andy’s Mom
Margo talks to host Marcy Larson about the way we rank losses and judge grief and how this interferes with our ability to heal and move forward.
Sacramento Magazine
“I started Salt Water because it was the website that I couldn’t find. I wanted someplace that was geared toward loss more broadly … a site where people could come in whatever place they were in and feel welcome and where there is no judgment to the loss.”
Death Dialogues Project
We hear the story of Jimmy who died at the age of 21 after an eight year brain cancer odyssey. This episode includes so many poignant, informative and beautiful messages as a mother tells her story of love and loss.
Grief Out Loud
How do you go on living after your child’s life ends? How do you continue to find connection, beauty and meaning when someone we can’t live without dies? This is the question Margo Fowkes faced when her son Jimmy died of brain cancer at the age of 21.
Project Grief
Project Grief creator Danica Thurber interviews Margo about her experience with loss and invites her to share tips on how to support a grieving friend.
The Afternoon News With Kitty O’Neal
Host Kitty O’Neal talks to Margo Fowkes about how to find comfort and support after a devastating loss
Style Magazine
Rather than criticize people for saying or doing the “wrong” thing, Salt Water offers practical suggestions and encouragement for those who want to help, along with gentle reminders of what a griever might find hurtful despite a loved one’s best intentions.
Grief Becomes You
Poet Maya Stein shares two of Margo’s essays on her website “Grief Becomes You.”
Rotary Club of Roseville
Margo offers practical suggestions on how to support a grieving colleague, friend or family member.
Let’s Talk Grief Podcast
Margo talks to host Tamara Bahlhorn about grieving the death of her only son, the ways her grief has changed over time and offers hope for other grievers.
