There must be something strangely sacred about salt. It is in our tears and in the sea.Kahlil Gibran

Those of us who’ve suffered one or more devastating losses often describe grief as being like the ocean with pain and longing breaking over us in waves. At times, the sadness is overwhelming, and we feel as though we’re drowning. But over time, we learn to float, to keep our head above water. We begin to recognize when the big waves are coming and become better able to deal with them. Although we never escape the sadness, we learn to navigate the waters of grief and move forward into the life we create in the wake of our loss.

a panoramic photo of Pismo Beach at sunset

During my darkest days, I found that the wisdom and experience of other grievers helped me to re-enter the world. They showed me that life after the death of a beloved was possible, that I could begin to see beauty, find grace and feel hope, even joy. They helped me realize that love was all around me, and all I had to do was lean in.

At Salt Water, our community can help you find your equilibrium and begin to heal after an unbearable loss. As Barbara Kingsolver put it so beautifully in High Tide in Tucson:

What a stroke of luck. What a singular brute feat of outrageous fortune: to be born into citizenship in the animal kingdom. We love and we lose, go back to the start and do it right over again. For every heavy forebrain solemnly cataloguing the facts of a harsh landscape, there’s a rush of intuition behind it crying out: High tide! Time to move out into the glorious debris. Time to take this life for what it is.

We invite you to become part of our community. Share your story, ask a question, make a comment. We’d love to hear from you.

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The Way Home

Too often when a friend is grieving, we focus on ourselves. Desperate to fix her pain after the death of a loved one, we ask how she is, hoping to inspire a positive response with the tone of our voice or an encouraging look.

Counting

Life will break you. Nobody can protect you from that, and living alone won’t either, for solitude will also break you with its yearning. Louise Erdrich

Searching For Solid Ground

The ground we stand on looks solid enough, but if something happens, it can drop right out from under you. Haruki Murakami

Unveiling Month: Mine Eyes Have Seen The Glory

This is a piece I wrote in the spring of 2017 approximately a year after both my husband’s father and my father died within three weeks of each other. As we approach Passover and Easter, in the midst of this global pandemic, we now encounter a period of grieving for our previous lives with all their freedoms.

The Long Goodbye

In the gardens of memory, in the palace of dreams … that is where you and I shall meet. Alice in Wonderland

Your last body

When the big U-haul rumbles onto our block,
a boxy behemoth with empty car trailer
clattering behind, it hits me:
It takes a lot more to move a body nowadays.

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